Past Mistakes
by DigimonDragonLady
Summary: Well...this story is um...bizzare...This is just weirdness that came out of my head when i was on a fan fiction high *giggle* Oh come on we all get them. ^^; *cough* Anyway...Ken didn't help me with this one b/c he's refusing to talk to me after the Daik


Disclaimer:

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Ken: _Same applies to this story as to all of Dragon Lady's others. She does not own Digimon. Or anything that has to do with it. _

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Dragon Lady: _Oh boy this is a weird fic…and I'm not quite sure where it came from…_

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Ken: _Hmph…well it must be the stuff you turn out when you write on your own because I certainly didn't help you on this. _***gives Dragon Lady the cold shoulder***

Dragon Lady: _Awww Ken-chan I'm really sorry about the Daikeru I put in my last story, won't you please forgive me? Pretty please?_

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Ken: _No!_

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Dragon Lady: _But I'm really, really sorry. Honest I am. I never meant to hurt your feelings Ken-chan. _

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Ken: _You're right, you are really sorry._

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Dragon Lady: ***scowls* **_Come on Ken, I'm trying to apologize here, can't you just forgive me?!_

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Ken: _No! If you were sorry you never would have written it._

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Dragon Lady: ***sigh* **_I hate it when I have muse trouble. Anywho…this is a strange little ficlet that popped into my head for some reason or another. Its really bizarre…even for me. I'm not really sure what to say about this…maybe I should just let you find out for yourself._

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**Past Mistakes**

By: DigimonDragonLady

I lay wrapped up in the sheets of my bed, somewhere between the land of dreams and the wakefulness that was slowly creeping over me. I was reluctant to force open my sleep heavy eyelids. I could tell that it wasn't anywhere close to morning yet with out even opening my eyes. There was still that cool, damp, night air feel against my skin, so what was I doing up? Usually I'm a heavy sleeper, something must have subconsciously forced my body into waking. Something, something was wrong.

I slowly opened my eyes, an inch at a time, and looked around my small apartment. There wasn't much to it, I lived here in the middle of the city, all alone except for my writing, which I used to keep me company. There was a small desk with a lap top computer set up on it a few feet away from my bed to the left. The lap top on top of it was casting a weird greenish glow, I usually left it on all night in case I woke suddenly from my dreams struck by inspiration.

It took every ounce of restraint I possessed not to scream when my searching eyes found themselves drawn towards the window on the right side of my bed where sitting there with the window open and curtains fluttering in the soft night breeze was the figure of a man. His back was to me as he stared out of the window and he sat casually, relaxed, with his chin propped up on a fist. It was almost like…he was waiting for something…

Well I didn't care, if he was going to sit there waiting I was going to give him something damn it. I quietly as I could slipped my hand under my pillow until I felt it connect with the small, purse-sized gun that I kept there; it paid to have some protection, no matter how small, in a city such as this.

I cautiously raised myself upwards and took careful aim at the back of his head. I cocked the gun back, loading it, and it made a soft click. Not that the sound mattered this man was about to die. "I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

His voice was deep, soft and sounded somehow…ageless. The words were spoken with complete calm, and he didn't even raise his head to look at me. "And why the hell not? You're trespassing, breaking and entering, and I seriously doubt that it is with good intentions." My own voice was flat, devoid of any of the emotions that I might be feeling, but had a shaky sound to it.

He turned and looked at me. In the dark I could see his bright, amber colored eyes, they seemed to glow, like a cat's, with an unsettling unearthliness. "I just wouldn't suggest it, I don't kill easily."

"Is that so?" I sneered. "Care to test that? Just who the hell are you, and what do you think you're doing here?"

"I came for you."

"What ?!" I chocked in disbelief. "You come here to my apartment to kill me and you can just sit there calm as day and tell me not to shoot you?! I don't think so." I squeezed the trigger and the gun in my hands emitted a deafening bang.

Time seemed to be moving in slow motion. I could see the bullet clearly as it flew, tore through the air towards the intruder. I watched as he stretched out an arm towards it lazily. The speed of my bullet grew slower, and slower, until it froze completely in the air little more than halfway to him and then clattered harmlessly to the floor. I was in shock, starring in complete disbelief. I felt that this must be some kind of bizarre dream.

The mysterious man snapped his fingers and the gun flew out of my hands, across the room, and into his. My eyes grew wide with unchecked fear and horror. This man was going to kill me, and he would do it with my own gun. Anguish and despair flooded my body. There was so much more I wanted to do with my life, I wasn't even out of my thirties yet…I was still too young to die.

"Who…who are you?" I stammered as he stood and moved closer to me.

"I have no actual name Miyra," he told me. "Many do call me the Dreamwalker however."

"The…Dreamwalker…?" I echoed.

"Yes Miyra."

"How…how do you know my name? Please…if you're here to rob me I have little that would be of any value. I am a simple writer and have nothing…save a few stories and my computer…you can take that. Just…don't kill me."

He shook his head sadly and sat down on the bed beside me. I scooted away from him. "I'm sorry my dear," he sighed. "If only it were that simple."

"…What do you mean?"

"I am not here to rob you Miyra, but I am going to have to kill you. But does it really count as murder when I take the life of one who does not truly exist?"

"Wh…what?"

"You are not meant to be alive Miyra. There was an…interference in your life several years ago that prevented your soul from passing from this life to the next. But you are soon to be desperately needed in your next life, so I must correct the mistake."

"I…I don't want to die…" I could feel the tears building in my eyes and then spilling over and trickling slowly down my cheeks, leaving salty trails in their wake. The Dreamwalker reached out and brushed them away tenderly. I shivered, even the briefest of touches from him sent huge surges of raw, painful power through my body. He radiated an energy so intense it was alarming.

"And I do not want to see you die," he spoke tenderly. "But it is not really death as much as it is a passing. You'll only be starting over again, a fresh shot at life, a clean slate."

"Will it hurt?" I bowed my head.

"It doesn't have to. I can make it quick and virtually pain free for you."

"I don't really have a choice…do I?"

"Its easier if you accept it," he patted my hand kindly.

"How…how can I accept it when I don't understand it?" I looked up into his honey colored eyes, searching for an answer.

"I can show you Miyra," he offered. "I can show you the mistake that was made, done out of love…I can show to you the consequences that will occur because of it if you are not turned towards your next life…"

"How?"

"Just lay back and sleep, and I will show you." He smiled, something that made his serious face look strange, but somehow…beautiful. "There is a reason they choose to call me the Dreamwalker."

* * *

I was walking through a huge, white expanse of nothingness, or so it seemed to me. It appeared to stretch on forever and ever, as far as the eye could see. There really wasn't a ground under my feet, it was as if I was walking on hardened air. A small white mist curled around my ankles as I moved around. I was waiting.

Then, he was there with me. The Dreamwalker. I marveled in delight at the angelic wings that swept down from his shoulders and stopped before just barely touching the ground…or…where the ground should have been.

"You're…and angel…?" I frowned.

He smiled at me. "Not quite."

I blinked. Okay…"Where are we?"

He shrugged, and the wings rose and fell gracefully with the smallest movement of his shoulders. "Between," he answered lightly, as if it made no difference.

"Between…what?"

He frowned. "What does it matter?"

"I…don't understand you."

"Everything that is has a between. Life and death, happiness and sadness, here and there, reality and actuality…so we are between all those things and more, not effected by them here, you see?"

"Oh…" I wasn't sure I would ever understand him.

"Are you ready to go now Miyra? We'll use the Between as a jump off."

"Yes, I'm ready."

* * *

Suddenly the Dreamwalker and I were standing on a crowded sidewalk of people. It was a bright and sunny day, one full of potential and promise. I looked sideways at the Dreamwalker curiously. 

"Here is where the mistake was made," he told me softly. "Look there," he pointed out a young woman with an arm full of books. She had long auburn hair that glowed with a healthy shine in the sun and a fresh, pretty face. Me!

I was stunned, even though it was what I expected to see. I half remembered this day. This was the day that I met Ken. I watched myself as I crossed the street. Horror began to bloom and spread inside of me as I watched the oncoming bus speed barreling down the street towards my unsuspecting second self. I wanted to shout out a warning to myself, but my throat was as dry and sticky as cotton.

Then out of nowhere, a man appeared and tackled me out of the way of the bus. Books went flying everywhere, and the younger me sat trembling in a daze on the pavement. I looked again at the Dreamwalker.

"We can go closer if you like," he offered as we began to move forward. "No one here can see us," he explained.

So we walked across the street to where Ken was hauling a shaken me to her…my feet. I remembered exactly what I thought of Ken when I met him, I was almost scared of him, if it hadn't been for the fact that he had saved my life. 

He looked like the kind of person you'd look out for in a dark alley. He was dressed completely in black, from the black trench coat that hung almost to the ground that his black leather boots walked on, to the black detective style hat with the brim pulled forward, covering a great deal of his face. His chin length hair was also black, but at certain moments it seemed to shimmer with indigo. And his eyes…his eyes seemed to be the only colorful thing about him, they were a beautiful, deep, icy blue.

The young me was talking to him, and even though I knew what was being said, I moved even closer to listen.

"I…thank you, you saved my life…"

"It was nothing," he shrugged casually, as if he did this sort of thing every day.

"No indeed it wasn't! How can I ever thank you Mr…"

"Ken. Please call me Ken."

"Thank you Ken, my name is Miyra."

"Miyra," he looked her…me…in the eye and I knew that my double was melting inside. "That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you…" she…I blushed. "There must be something I can do to repay you…"

"You don't owe me a thing."

"Of course I do! That was the bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do for a complete stranger! You could have died as well!" The past me protested.

"Then…let me take you to lunch and any debt that you might owe me will be repaid," he smiled suddenly. I liked it when Ken smiled.

"I hardly think that I should allow you to treat me to lunch. Shouldn't it be the other way around after you saved my life?"

"But I like it better this way," Ken still wore the small smile.

"Well…I think…I'd like that."

* * *

The scenery around me changed and this time the Dreamwalker and I were in the small apartment I had owned at the time, and the one that I still owned. We were sitting on my couch and talking. I had made us a cup of coffee and we simply enjoying each other's presence. 

"So…you said you were a writer Miyra?"

"Well…not really…not yet I mean." The young me sighed. "I want to get my work published soon, but I'm having a hard time finding anyone who wants my story."

"I'm sure you'll find somebody to take it soon."

"I hope so. I work as a waitress at a little café down the street so that I can afford to pay for the apartment, and food and things, and I write whenever I can find a free moment."

He nodded and they both sat there gripping their cups self consciously. Ken put his down on my small living room table and looked at me…the other me I mean…

"To be completely honest with you Miyra I just don't want to leave you. I feel…drawn to you somehow, and I don't want to go."

"I…I feel drawn to you too Ken," the younger me blushed.

"I just…ever since I met you I've had this overwhelming feeling of familiarity and I…well, I really like you Miyra. I enjoy your company…a lot."

"I enjoy your company too Ken."

"I'm really glad."

The Dreamwalker looked at me watching the two other occupants of the room. "Would you like to stay and see more Miyra?" he asked, an amused twinkle present in his eyes. "Or should we move on now?"

I stood up from the computer chair that I had sat down in. "We can go now. I remember what happened next."

* * * 

It was dark and Ken and I were standing on the street in front of my apartment. "What do you mean you have to leave me?!" The young me stood in front of Ken with tears running down her face. "I know we just met Ken, but I thought that we had something really special…"

"Miyra we do…I mean we did…" Ken stammered.

"I love you Ken, don't go!"

"But I'm not supposed to be here…I can't stay."

"What do you mean?" 

"I don't belong in the same time here with you Miyra. I need to be somewhere else now."

"Where?!"

"Another life…" he whispered.

"Wh…what?"

"I have a whole other life waiting for me Miyra. This life is not for me. I love you too, very much. And I'm very sorry, but if I stay all the work I have done here will have been for nothing. I don't want to leave you, but we aren't meant to be together in this time. But we will never be together now that I've come here."

"I don't understand you Ken…"

"I know you don't love," he tenderly brushed a tear from my cheek. "And you never will."

"Will I ever see you again?"

"I doubt it."

"And you're going now?"

"Yes love, now." He turned and began walking away. The tears poured helplessly down my face. "I'll be here until you blink."

I stared…tried as hard as I could not to make the small closing motion of my lids, but my eyes burned and eventually I did have to close them. When I looked again…he was gone. I turned to the Dreamwalker.

"What just happened here? Ken was right, I never did understand what he was trying to tell me…"

"Ken was the reason that you did not pass to the next life. He and you were lovers in your next life. Ken is rare, he is not what I am and does not have the true ability to throw himself through time and go anywhere that he chooses. He is born and dies as the rest of us, but somehow he keeps the knowledge of all of his past lives, he understands that he has been reborn, while normal people don't. He also has the ability to look in a person's eyes and see their past lives."

I frowned. "Ken and I were lovers in the next life…and he knew that by pushing me out of the way of the bus that I wouldn't be that life…why did he change it?"

"To understand I will show you more Miyra."

* * *

It was sunset and a couple was sitting on a cliff watching the sun set. A young boy with chin length black hair moved his hand on top of his partners. "What are you thinking about love?" he asked. His voice was soft, and kind, but there was something infinitely sad about it. This was Ken.

"I'm not sure…many things…"

"Like what?"

"Did you ever think that we'd end up this way? That things would turn out the way that they did? That you would be the Kaizer…and I a Chosen Child and now we work together. Just…I don't know."

"Do you ever wish that things had turned out differently?" Ken asked.

"Yes, often, a lot." the future me admitted, turning to look Ken in the eyes. "Sometimes I think that nothing in both worlds could be better than being a Chosen Child, and sometimes…I wish I had had the chance to be normal you know? Just…have the chance to be a child…instead of a fighter in some great war that is getting thrown our way."

Ken made a soft agreeable noise. 

"I hate seeing innocent digimon get hurt…and I often hate the person that I've allowed myself to become. Was it ever that way for you?"

"All the time," Ken murmured. He looked at the future me. "You know I love you right? I mean really love you?"

"Of course I do. I love you too, more than anything."

"I'd do anything to make you happy my love. Anything…"

They snuggled together. "Then hold me Ken. That's all I want right now. Just hold me."

* * *

The scene changed and the Dreamwalker and I were standing on a hill, over looking some kind of battle scene. The grass underneath our feet wasn't even alive anymore and it made brittle crunching sounds whenever I moved. The sky was dark with storm clouds and thunder rumbled over head. I saw a group of Children at the bottom of the hill. They were all holding small creatures that looked like stuffed animals, but to my disbelief some of them moved.

The Children appeared to be around sixteen, seventeen years old for most of them, and for the one younger boy, he must have been fourteen or fifteen. There were four children all together. They were facing off against a boy on the back of a flying dragon like creature!

I looked at the Dreamwalker in shock. "What is this place?" I breathed.

"This…is known as the Digital World. It is populated by many different Digital Monsters, also referred to as digimon. When this world is threatened it has a unique way of pulling a group of Children through the barriers of the human world and the Digital one to protect it from the menace. You were intended to be one of these so called "Chosen Children"."

"Who is the boy on the back of the dragon?" I asked softly.

"That is the enemy of the Chosen Children, a boy who calls himself the Digimon Kaizer."

"Is this my future?"

"No," he said sharply. "This is the future without you. The Digimon Kaizer is Ken. With you in this life the Kaizer would have been defeated at the age of eleven, but without you the battle has raged on for five extra years. The Chosen Children are on the verge of despair, they are close to loosing. They might not last much longer."

"So…if I were here…then Ken would be like he was at the cliff with me."

"Yes. That would be the future in your next life."

There was silence. "They…really need me don't they?" I watched as the order to retreat was called and the four children ran as fast as they could away from Ken, the boy who called himself the Digimon Kaizer. The Dreamwalker didn't say anything. It wasn't really a question I expected him to answer.

"Can you fix it?" I asked him. "Can you put it back to the way it was? Can you stop Ken from coming to this past life of mine and saving me?"

"If that is what you really want." He told me slowly.

"I…it is."

"Think hard, for once you make your decision there is no turning back. Are you sure that it will be the way you want it?"

"Yes." I nodded. "I don't want to see this happen." I waved my hand at the scene around us. "I don't want Ken to suffer and hurt people. And if I'm here you tell me I can stop it. So yes, I want it to be as it should."

* * * 

Oh the first day back to school. How ultimately boring, but full of thrilling possibilities at the same time. I admit I was in a daze all morning my friends yelled at me several times just to snap out of it, but I couldn't help it. I'd had the strangest dream the night before…

A soccer ball went flying over my head, bringing me back to reality. I went running up to a tall blond haired boy who had caught it. "Hey…nice catch."

"Thanks. Here you go." He threw it back at my chest. Somehow…he looked familiar. Had I seen him in my dream? "You know," he told me. "You look really familiar," he frowned and muttered something to himself.

"Huh?" I stood there, not quite sure what to say.

"Hey Daisuke, come on, you're holding up the game!" someone called.

The sound of my name jolted me awake again. "Oh yeah!" I ran and kicked the soccer ball back into the game. Oh well…who cared about some stupid dream? This day was full of promise and exciting possibilities. There's no telling when the adventure of a lifetime is about to come your way. Who knew…maybe today would be my day.

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Ken: **o.O **_I think that was the strangest thing I have ever seen you write._

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Dragon Lady: _Oh…talking to me again are you?_

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Ken: ***scowls* **

Dragon Lady: _See look. I made it a Kensuke story, just for you. My first thought was to make it a Kenyako, but I thought up the interesting end and then I made it a Kensuke. I'm really, really sorry._

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Ken: ***grudgingly* **_Well…all right…I guess I can forgive you…if you promise never to write another Daikeru while I'm your muse._

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Dragon Lady: ***nods head*** _I promise…um…well…what if I do a sequel to _**So It Begins…**_? I'd have to put Daikeru in that…_

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Ken: ***growls***

Dragon Lady: _Eeep. Or maybe not._

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Ken: _It would be nice if you review this fic. I don't know where she comes up with these bizarre ideas, but this is beyond anything I've seen out of Dragon Lady…_

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Dragon Lady: _I would appreciate input…*****constructive***** criticism, anything to help me understand what you did/didn't like about the story. No flames please!! Just opinions/suggestions. Encouragement is always good…_


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